Mary has been struggling with social anxiety since her adolescence. Her condition deteriorated to the point that she developed depression and had to take some time off from school. Upon entering university, she completely distanced herself from group activities. “I didn’t join any clubs or groups,” Mary (name changed) said. “I felt like no one wanted to know me. During my studies, I didn’t make any friends.” Mary’s social anxiety became so severe that she was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. This condition can affect about 12 percent of people. Many individuals face common struggles in social situations. Students questioned how to cope with such feelings in their first and final years of university. Research indicates that nearly one in five students experience social anxiety during their studies. A study by the University of Chichester clearly linked social anxiety to lower grades, weaker relationships, and loneliness. Entering university represents the first opportunity to experience independence and there is often an expectation to quickly make friends. Mary recalled, “The first time I went to a group, everyone was already engaged in conversations. I started to feel scared and felt out of place. Then I went back home.”
Twenty-five-year-old Mary described how her body reacts when she experiences social anxiety. When talking to new people, her face would feel warm and her hands would tingle. According to Neil Greening, Chair of Social Anxiety Alliance UK, such sensations are common. “People often believe they have a personality flaw and blame themselves for needing help,” he said. Greening explained that social anxiety becomes problematic when it prevents a person from doing what they want or need to do. “Extroversion and social confidence are admired in society, so accepting social anxiety is difficult. Many try to hide it or behave in a safe manner.” Typical signs of social anxiety include remaining silent, giving very short answers, avoiding interaction by focusing on the phone, sitting close to only one person or always staying in the corner of a group, and only discussing safe topics.
Mary is currently managing her social anxiety in postgraduate studies. After completing her undergraduate degree, she underwent CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) through the NHS. CBT is considered an effective treatment for social anxiety as it helps people improve their thoughts and behaviors. David Clark, Professor of Psychology at Oxford University, encourages more people to seek treatment. However, he notes that the first step has to be taken by oneself. According to him, stopping overthinking is the initial move. “Many with social anxiety make negative assumptions, like fearing embarrassment or believing others think poorly of them. CBT helps change these thoughts. It can be scary but is very helpful,” he said. Clark advised giving up safety behaviors, such as rehearsing before speaking, avoiding eye contact, or only sitting with the same person. He also suggests avoiding repeated rumination after social events. Mary agrees with this approach. “I used to replay events over and over. I learned that fighting social anxiety requires a gradual process. Therapy helped a lot, and advice from friends was beneficial too,” she said. “Now, I’m more motivated to socialize. Small groups in postgraduate studies help. I’m also part of an astronomy group. It’s still challenging, but I am learning to manage it.”
